Is This What Passion Feels Like?

Passion.

When I first thought about being a teacher, I kept hearing that it was what I need. Passion, and a drive to do whatever it takes to help a student succeed. To be honest, this notion scared me to death.

One of my friends recently found her passion through hooping. My friends and I were huddled around a computer watching a video of this girl just rocking out with a hula hoop. We were stunned and suddenly found ourselves rushing to the hardware store to make hoops of our very own. She and I would meet at the park after work to try to figure out how to do the tricks we saw in the video. Eventually I stopped hooping, but she kept going. She found something in her life that made her truly happy.

Seeing the journey that she has been on for the past year and a half has been amazing. While watching her life change in front of me, it made me wonder if I’ve ever been passionate about anything before. Sure I’ve loved doing things, but have I ever loved something so much that I could never imagine myself doing anything else?

I wondered this even as I entered my first semester of education classes. Everyone around me seemed so sure that they were going to teach forever. I was still figuring out if this was right for me.

All of this changed when I stepped into the second grade classroom I was observing for the first time this semester. In the days and weeks leading up to this, I was scared I wasn’t going to like it. I was so worried that teaching wasn’t what I was supposed to do. Once the shared reading was finished, I was invited to walk around and talk to the students in the class. One pair asked me to listen to them read aloud. As they read a poem about the seasons to me, I started feeling something that I have never felt before.

This feeling continued to grow as I continued to interact with these students for the next few weeks. The finale of my time with the second graders was teaching them my first lesson over the tale of George Washington and the cherry tree. As I told the story, I saw the light bulbs come on one by one like the stars do every night. Before you know it, you’re surrounded.
Earlier this month, I subbed for the first time in a kindergarten classroom. The day before, I was a nervous wreck. Questions and doubts swirled around my head. However, once I started morning meeting, that feeling returned to me. This time it was so strong that it was almost overwhelming.

It was a feeling that let me know that there is no other place for me to be, my budding passion. It’s what drives me to do my very best in school and take in all of the information that I can. Right now my mind is like a kindergartner. I am just learning the basics, but at the same time I am soaking so much in. It will make me a better learner. It will make be a better teacher. It will make me a better me.

I am a teacher, it is becoming my passion.

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The road to becoming a teacher is fill of twists, turns, and near insanity.